TALKING ABOUT DRUG
Talk when you're calm
Most parent's natural reaction is to panic when they find out their child is using drugs, DON'T talk to them when you're in a state! Walk away and try to calm down and get some thinking time - decide what you are going to say in advance. This will help stop the conversation spiraling out of control and will avoid putting your child on the defensive.
Get informed
Many parents worry that their child will know more than them, all you have to do is read up on the facts. You don't need to know the slang, all you need to know is how the drugs affect them. This will help you maintain a level conversation with them and will probably impress them too!
Click here for more info, or visit www.talktofrank.com
Get help
Get someone to help you, get someone that the child respects; a friend or a close relative to be there with you. Having someone there will stop the conversation escalating into a row or a stand off.
Avoid "Why?"
Asking why is the worst thing you can say as it immediately puts the young person on the defensive. They may not know why they started taking drugs or why they are thinking about taking them. Ask questions like how, when, what, where as these are open questions and will help the conversation flow.
Avoid blaming
Blame isn't useful for anything, it won't make you feel better and it won't do anything useful. The important thing is where you go from here and how to help the young person.
The truth is best
There is no evidence to say that talking to a child about drugs will lead to them experimenting, so don't be afraid to ask direct questions. You can't expect young people to accept what you say automatically so be prepared to share your views. Current research shows that a young person will put off or not take drugs if they feel that they can talk to their parents.
Give them space
Make the focus of the conversation what your child is going through. Pay particular attention to their feelings and don't be afraid to ask them to clarify things - the more you understand then the easier it will be for the both of you to move forward. If you have tried drugs think carefully about telling them about your experiences.
Assumptions can be dangerous
Young people take drugs for different reasons. Get them to explain in their own words what's going on for them and treat them seriously. They may want to rebel, experiment or the drugs are readily available. It may not be that they're having problems at school or that they hate their parents, for example.
Set limits
The conversation shouldn't just be all about what the young person thinks and feels. It is important that your child is aware of your views and house rules too. Ask yourself "What do I approve/disapprove of?" "What is allowed in my home?" "Will I support them regardless of what they do?" Be prepared to make a fuss and take action if these limits are broken.
Time to Talk?
They are never too young for a talk... If a small child brings up the subject it's worth asking them what they know about 'drugs'. Tell them when they're ready to hear more to come and ask you. Also tell them that if anyone offers them drugs to come and tell you.
Older children
Your influence to secondary school children can wane and your credibility can go down, so it's important that you don't blag or try to be cool when discussing drugs. This can be a quick way of losing their trust before you have even had the chance to get it.
Take your time
Be patient when you are having a conversation...things
don't have to be wrapped up in one conversation. Make
sure that you won't be interrupted and try to make your
'opening' as natural as possible. If they bring up the
subject, make sure you are ready to listen.
REASSURE
If a young person has a drug problem, it is important for them to know that you will be there for them; from answering their questions to helping them through difficult times. It is also worth telling them that you trust them but at the same time you should feel free to show disappointment if this trust is broken.